The Do’s and Don’ts as a Bride and a Bridesmaid

Bridesmaids and everything that comes with it

I’ve been the bride and now I’ve been the bridesmaid quite a few times. So I have come up with a list of the most annoying things I found being on both sides of this scenario and hopefully it will help someone who may be in this situation currently.

As the Bride

1. Picking the girls

Picking the bridal party is a bitch. Either you have too many friends, too little friends, couples that you both would have have now broken up, your hubby to be doesn’t agree, the sides don’t match up, etc.

None of that matters and no one at the wedding gives a fuck. Who cares if you aren’t even? In the grand scheme of things does that really matter? I mean unless it’s like 10 and 3. 1, 2 or even 3 doesn’t matter. Don’t add people just because you want to be even and don’t exclude people because of it either. Ask yourself if you are gonna be best friends with these people in 25 years. If your not sure, don’t have them in it.

Also, no one cares if they aren’t in the bridal party unless they have low self esteem and no self worth, in that case just get them a session with a therapist instead (I know one 🙋🏼‍♀️). Plus being in a bridal party has turned into a part time job now a days, so they will probably be grateful to just be a guest. You are allowed to be friends with people without being best friends with them.

2. Events

Listen brides, I know it’s all about you, but everyone else has lives and truthfully they don’t care that much about all the wedding events. Expect your girls to go dress shopping once (don’t expect more), attend your bachelorette, and plan your bridal shower. That is all you are to expect. It’s great if you have other events planned and the girls are all friends, but don’t throw a hissy fit when bridesmaids can’t make it to all these extra gatherings you want dedicated to your big day leading up to the wedding.

3. Bridesmaid dresses

Even though your spending $3000 on your gown, that doesn’t mean your girls want to spend a paycheck on their dress that they will wear once to your wedding. If you find a dress that’s $400, look around first before demanding your girls drop that much money at the snap of a finger. You can probably find something comparable for a much cheaper price.

4. Bachelorette

Have an idea of what you want, but make sure your bridesmaids are aware of this beforehand. And this doesn’t mean sharing your ideas in the group chat so the poor one has to feel bad saying no and now they are struggling to pay rent because of your excessive bachelorette weekend. Talk to your girls separately. Let them know if your interested in doing a whole weekend, if it involves flying, a budget, dates you are thinking, etc. You can’t expect people to spend hundreds and thousands on a bachelorette weekend. There are plenty of places to go and do that won’t break the bank. ALSO, if you are doing a weekend getaway that’s expensive, DO NOT EXPECT TO GO FOR FREE. I went to Nashville for mine and I paid my share in the lodging and my flights. The girls covered most of what we did there, but between 9 of us it wasn’t outrageous for them to cover cabs, drinks, and some activities.

As the Bridesmaid

1. Financial commitment

If you are asked to be a bridesmaid and you say yes, you know what your signing up for. If you can’t afford it, don’t say yes. Expect to spend at least $700-$1000 depending on how expensive your bride’s taste is. You have the dress (typically $100-$300), alterations ($100-$200) the bachelorette (big range $100-$1000), bridal shower ($100-$200), hair ($100), makeup ($100), wedding gift (optional $100-$300), hotel ($150). Keep this in mind when making friends 🤣

2. Going with the flow

It’s not your wedding and it’s not your party. If the bride wants opinions, sure, add yours. But do not go back and forth trying to convince the bride or the other girls how something should go based on your personal interest. This is especially true with the bachelorette. If the bride wants to go to a museum and you don’t want to, too fucking bad. If she wants to go to a strip club and your not up for it, oh well. Get your ass there and stop bitching. It will all be over soon.

3. Trying to steal the show

Do not look better than the bride. This is not a competition, we all know your hot but it’s someone else’s turn right now, slow your role. Don’t have your boobs hanging out, don’t wear a thong bikini, don’t start drama, don’t cry, don’t hook up on the bachelorette, don’t wear white to anything, etc. Just common sense people.

4. Wedding gift

I mentioned this was optional before. Personally, I’m giving $$ no matter what. However, I’ve heard otherwise. I guess this one really depends what you have already spent to be In the wedding. If you’ve spent a thousand bucks already, then a big wedding gift isn’t necessary. If we are in the wedding, my husband and I are normally giving $2-300. Again if you’ve already gone above your budget, at least giving $75-$100 per person is safe. If you can’t afford the money, see if there’s anything you can get delivered from their registry and make something special to go along with it.

I swear I loved being a bride and I love being a bridesmaid (mostly 😝)! Hope these rants were helpful or at the very least entertaining.

4 thoughts on “The Do’s and Don’ts as a Bride and a Bridesmaid

  1. It’s important for the bride to stay as calm as possible on her day and not to be too bitchy or rude 🙂 and I agree to everything you said 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes!! Maid of honor should take the role of event planning and organizing regarding bachelorette and bridal shower. They don’t necessarily need to spend any more than the bridesmaids, but they should put more time into it! Just my

      Liked by 1 person

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